Minnesota RollerGirls - Flat-track, skater-owned roller derby league in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul

The Sioux Falls Rollerdollz tell us that co-founders Queen Elizabitch and Pain Maker first saw roller derby live when they traveled to the Roy in October 2006. They've come back time and again, they've watched our bouts on the Internet, and our players have gone west to run one of their boot camps in South Dakota. Their geared-up arrival to the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium felt something like a reunion...maybe like one where a fight breaks out. And so, at the conclusion of the league mixer, the Rollerdollz hit the track and made ready to take on the Minnesota RollerGirl All-Stars for a match three years in the waiting.

Suzie Smashbox took to the line against Sioux Falls heavy Queen Elizabitch for the bout's first jam. Elizabitch attempted to take a whip from her pivot but slammed into a Minnesota player for her troubles; Suzie stole the lead out from under her and began accelerating. Elizabitch went to the penalty box, presumably for the back block on the MNRG blocker. Suzie made short work of the pack three times for an early triple slam. MNRG jammer Lexi cracked the pack next for thirteen on another power jam versus Applicious as the Sioux Falls scorer smacked straight into Venus Thightrap. Harmony Killerbruise took Minnesota's third lead jam as she passed a pack unable to touch her as Applicious' penalty expired; Harmony scored seven, but Applicious snuck up and got two before the Minnesotan could call the jam. Minnesota 35-2 with seven minutes past.

Sioux Falls scored again two jams later as Suzie Smashbox took her first trip to the penalty box. Julia Wild scrambled through the pack without taking the lead and scored four more. Unfortunately, Julia also called off the jam; an illegal procedure for a jammer who did not 'take the lead'. This ended the jam and sent Julia to the box; L'exi Cuter took full advantage of Julia's visit and started tearing apart the pack again. Julia had no luck breaking that pack once she left the penalty box; Tara Skatesov and Venus Thightrap ably controlled her in the front while L'exi scored fourteen.

With seventeen left to go, Sioux Falls called a timeout with Minnesota ahead by forty-three (49-6). In the following jams, Sioux Falls began to move their jammers through the pack more briskly, but both Harmony and Psycho Novia of Minnesota still grabbed leads again for three each. Hollicidal Maniac did particularly fine work dropping jammers to the outside, but Minnesota continued to widen the scoring gap. The 'Dollz kept going for the big hit, but could not keep a jammer down long enough to get their first lead jam. Suzie continued the string of leads as she jammed against Hollicidal, orbiting the pack on the outside for four unanswered points. L'exi grabbed another six as Julia Wild again went to the box for track cutting. Harmony took the lead late in the next jam while Queen Elizabitch got held back by Vuedoo Prodigy and Diamond Rough. On her lapping pass, Dusty Bibles of Sioux Falls shut down Harmony's progress. As Diamond Rough fell back to assist her jammer, Harmony passed her the star, and the amazonian Ms Rough ran out the remainder of the jam. 65-8 Minnesota.

Sioux Falls continued to have penalty woes as the refs sent their jammers to the box three times. Minnesota steadily distanced themselves from their opponents, but they had not broken Sioux Falls' nerve. In the penultimate jam of the half, Applicious charged from the box and caught the MNRG blockers napping, scoring five before the opposing jammer - Harmony Killerbruise - could call off the jam. Minnesota's Vuedoo Prodigy quickly answered that scoring run by scoring fourteen as time expired on the first half. 95-15 Minnesota.

Minnesota dominated the first half on scoring, on lead jams, and on penalties. The MNRG's pack continued to hold back their opponents and to peel errant blockers into the penalty box as they would get caught on track-cutting or back-blocking penalties. Meanwhile, four of Minnesota's jamming staff had already posted more than ten points.

The MNRG poured on the points in the second half as the Rollerdollz continued to take on water. Harmony started the half off with a nine-point jam as the refs sent Fully OZmatic to the box. Dollz blocker Red Thunder finally bottled up Harmony's advance, and Harmony called it off. Psycho took the remainder of OZ's penalty out and skated a thirteen-point jam as Venus Thightrap cleared the road for the young jammer. L'exi Cuter followed up for five on another power jam due to opposing jammer Queen Elizabitch's track-cut.

In the following jam, Harmony got out in front of Applicious and started putting on the brakes immediately. Skating stride for stride at a trickle of a pace, Harmony dominated the Sioux Falls jammer long enough that the pack actually caught up with the jammers and sucked Applicious into MNRG blocker Diamond Rough's not-so-gentle embrace. This "negative pass" meant that Applicious would have to pass the pack twice before she could score. Harmony sprinted ahead and appeared to break through the pack for four...although it took a few minutes of referee consternation before play could advance again. Applicious made up for the negative pass in the following jam as she scored five against Tara Skatesov, taking the team's first lead of the night. Julia Wild followed up with another lead and another four points. Minnesota ahead 126-27 with seventeen left to go.

Queen Elizabitch and Harmony went to the line. Amidst her stride, Elizabitch's skates locked up and QE jumped over to her bench for an unscheduled pitstop while Harmony scored fourteen before being sent out on minors. The next jam? Filled with penalties; neither Harmony nor her opponent could stay on the track long enough to break through the pack. Mitzi Massacre smoothed out Minnesota's nerves as she calmly picked her way through the chaotic pack for eight points. Killahertz lost out in the next jam as she cut the track on the initial pass; Elizabitch grabbed four while fending off strong shoulders from Suzie Smashbox. Venus Thightrap took another nine to Julia Wild's three as Diamond Rough blindsided Sioux Falls captain Pain Maker from out of the penalty box to make way for her jammer. Julia got sent to the box on a double penalty, which gave MNRG's next jammer L'exi Cuter the opportunity to score a double slam. 167-34 with 3 minutes left.

MNRG jammer Diamond Rough busted through the pack like a running back on fire, but it wasn't quite enough to beat out Applicious' speed. The Sioux Falls vet grabbed the lead jam and scored three. Elizabitch led the next jam, but could only call it off to shut down Abbie Mischief ahead of her on the track. And as time expired, MNRG all-star rookie Tara Skatesov took one last double slam for thirteen points to Applicious' seven. That jam was the second in five periods of MNRG all-star play (going back to MNRG v Carolina's second half) that the MNRG allowed their opponents more than five points in a single jam. Final score: 180-44.

The second half gave Sioux Falls some ability to show off their hits; Red Thunder, Dusty Bibles, and Hollicidal Maniac all were dropping our players into the crowd. The tactic is great; it's hard to make it work consistently when the jammer won't stay down...and Minnesota's players kept getting up. Minnesota played a dominant game, and their partner system that shifts from active hits to pushing players into walls continues to gather traction. It will be of great interest to see what aspects of the all-star strategies we will see in the home season coming up in two weeks. In the meantime, congratulations to the MNRG for a 4-2 record at home in 2009, including a loss to Windy City...and a win against Carolina. 2010 Regionals are less than ten months away.

MNRG:
75 Harmony Killerbruise: 5-8, 42 pts
187 L'exi Cuter: 6-6, 52 pts
91 Suzie Smashbox: 3-4, 22 pts
109 Psycho Novia: 4-4, 20 pts
21 Tara Skatesov: 1-2, 13 pts
69 Vuedoo Prodigy: 0-1, 14 pts
55 Venus Thightrap: 0-1, 9 pts
3 Mitzi Massacre: 1-1, 8 pts
25 Honeydew Felon: 0-1, 0 pts
808 Killahertz: 0-1, 0 pts
1837 Diamond Rough: 0-1, 0 pts
318 Abbie Mischief: 0-1, 0 pts

SFRD:
3.14 Applicious: 3-9, 20 pts
375 Julia Wild: 1-10, 15 pts
40oz Fully OZmatic: 0-3, 5 pts
1.75L Queen Elizabitch: 1-8, 4 pts
AK47 Hollicidal Manic: 0-1, 0 pts

Featured Event

This incredibly popular and fun event is back for a third year! The day will include over 2 hours of roller derby drills, games, and fun led by your favorite Minnesota RollerGirls. No previous skating experience required! Open to ages 4-20; guardian must be present and safety gear (helmet, wrist guards, knee & elbow pads) ...

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Featured Skater

Eve L. Hazard

Eve L Hazard is a queer and deadly combination of the power of science and unearthly ways of the world. Born to a nuclear engineer, many wonder if it was perhaps a strange accident that exposed her...

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B2TV Streaming

Unable to attend the upcoming Minnesota RollerGirls events in person? You don't have to miss out on the action - all of this year's bouts will have high-quality live streaming courtesy of B2TV.

Events will be available for purchase ten minutes prior to the action beginning.

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News

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Rockits triumph over Dolls, 129-37

At this point in the history of the Minnesota RollerGirls, no one expects a player to take a swipe at a rival. Fights are basically stories that old-timers tell the rookies about from the first couple of seasons. Still...there is rivalry in the MNRG, and no two teams have a more tempestuous one than the Dagger Dolls and the Rockits. The two teams have a different (if equally passionate) outlook on our sport; the Rockits tend to embrace the new, interleague road-warrior style of play, while the Dollys' core seems to rest in taking the classic big blocks with fast, fast jammers. In past years, these differences have manifested themselves in unusual ways. This year, the match was the thing, and the teams left it on the floor of the Roy.

Dolly jammer Psycho Novia broke out in the fir...

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Bombshells hold back Gardas 67-42

Saturday's match between the Atomic Bombshells and Garda Belts took an unexpected turn even before the first jam had begun. L'exi-cuter could not make the match due to outside obligations. As L'exi had provided half of the Bombshells' points over the past two jams, the Bombshells would have to up their defense and force principal jammers Mae Gusta and Venus Thightrap to further step up their own jamming. Meanwhile, the Gardas looked at this match as a last shot at the season championship. To be guaranteed a berth in the finals, they would have to defeat the Bombshells by forty-seven or more. Certainly a possibility, but Suzie Smashbox, Cassie Rolle, and Angelfire would need to keep charging through the Bombshell pack to make it happen.

Suzie Smashbox started strong for the Garda...

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MNRG Hometeam Bout 3 Preview

Before we start talking about these matches, a quick update from our ticket folks. Our non-Xcel/Roy/Ticketmaster outlets sold out as of Monday, but there are still plenty of tickets. However, if you know that you're coming a little later for this bout, why not pick them up this week at the Roy Box Office (open 10-6pm) or through Ticketmaster?

If you have tickets already, come early and get in line. While it's great that there are no bad seats in Minnesota's own House of Derby, the bout is going to be packed and that usual seat that you love might not be available if you don't show up a bit ahead of time.

Also, we are very pleased to announce a change in next year's schedule. We will be flipping the calendar so that the home teams will begin in October and the season championship ...

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MNRG Finals outlook 2010: by the numbers

Two bouts remain in the Minnesota RollerGirls season. The results from March's bout will determine who will compete to raise the coveted Golden Skate (currently held by back-to-back winners, the Rockits) and who will play for third. Right now, no team has confirmed their berth in the season championships...though two teams definitely have the edge right now.

For those unaware, the MNRG send the top two teams forward to the finals. In the case of a tie in W-L, the team with the top overall point differential (points scored on opponents - points allowed) gets the spot. Looking only at the numbers - the win-loss record and the points, not the personalities or the relative strengths of the teams - this is what your MNRG home teams must do to secure a spot at the jammer line for April...

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Rockits take Gardas 118-35

Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!

The extent to which this matchup was anticipated could not be underestimated. With the Gardas a game ahead of the Rockits at the start of the bout, the Gardas had an opportunity to shut the Rockits out of the season championship for the first time since the women in red rose from the ashes of the first season's Silver Bullets. Couple that with their sixty-point defeat at the hands of the Rockits in the last season championship, and you really have all of...

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Atomic Bombshells defeat Dagger Dolls, 63-38

Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!

The Atomic Bombshells entered this match with a 1-0 record; having narrowly defeated the Rockits in January, the Bombshells were looking for another win to firm up their championship berth in April. The Dolls were a game behind after a nine-point defeat by the Garda Belts and needed this win to reasonably seek the berth. With a three-game season before the finals, every point in every game counted...particularly in a season as close as this one.

The D...

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Saturday night turnout

We'd like to thank our fans for the HUGE turnout on Saturday night. We've never had to turn people away at the door before and that's both an exciting and sad moment for us. Exciting because we're happy and honored so many wanted to come out. Sad because we'd never want to have to turn people away. We hope that if you didn't make it in on Saturday, you'll come back March 6 for our next bout.

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Season 6, Bout 2 preview

On Saturday, diehard Minnesota RollerGirls fans and newcomers alike will rush the doors of the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium to watch the next step in the evolution of derby in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

Our first home bout rocked the derby world as the Rockits - reigning two-time champions - were laid low by the Atomic Bombshells. The Rockits must now win Saturday's bout - a repeat match of last year's season championship against the Garda Belts - to control their destiny. The Dagger Dolls are in a similar fix; their seven-point loss to the Gardas in January means that they must win against a transformed Bombshell team to have a strong chance to acquire the Golden Skate. We'll talk more on the win-loss situation in a moment, but let's look at Saturday's games.

The Atomic Bombsh...

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Garda Belts beat back Dolly assault, 59-50

Last year's bottom-ranked Dagger Dolls took on the Garda Belts, (2009 runners-up), for this first bout of the new home season. There was expectation that this would be a high-scoring game as a bevy of Dolly speedsters took on Suzie Smashbox. It really was anything but that. Although the teams had less than five practices before this bout as the Dolls and as the Gardas, the close scores and the heavy reliance on delaying the jammer instead of knocking her out denoted a bout fought between two strong packs instead of a battle of star-wearing skaters.

After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's ...

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Set to maximum yield, Bombshells break Rockit streak, 78-76

For many fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls, the Rockits have always been the winners. They just win; they're the serious, hard-working, take-care-of-your-body kind of players that can tell you the ins and outs of the game as they outdrink you. If you started attending bouts in Season 4, you've never known anything different. On Saturday, the Rockits lost. More importantly, the Atomic Bombshells - under the leadership of Mitzi Massacre and Misfit Maiden - played a smart game and beat the back-to-back champions of the Minnesota RollerGirls in a match that brought the fans roaring to their feet.

Venus Thightrap - lately the prime pivot for the All-Stars - returned to her jammer roots for the Atomic Bombshells against Harmony Killerbruise for the first jam. As the jammers made their way ...

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