Minnesota RollerGirls - Flat-track, skater-owned roller derby league in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul

It's March at the Roy and - once again - it's a great time of the year to be a fan of the Minnesota RollerGirls. With the final bouts decided for the team championship, we get to be treated to two matches that can stand alone. They don't count towards point totals or standings or anything other than team pride. For the past two years, a fluke of scheduling has put together the top two and bottom two teams to play against one another as a preview of what's to come in April. And what's to come? Well, it just looks fantastic.

First off, the Atomic Bombshells against the Dagger Dolls. The losses that have plagued both teams aside, this match is all about a little redemption for at least one of the teams. The Bombshells are concluding a rebuilding year and seem ready - to wax a little military - to be set to maximum yield. We have been seeing this young team work out its kinks. It's time for the question to be asked; can this team of disparate rookies and veterans bring a win home for the fans of the Orange this season, or will we have to wait for '09-10?

The Dolls, like the Bombshells, have lost three bouts. There's no doubt that the original team that Candi Pain and Barbie Brawl put together was formidable; however, losing five of those players from the start has been difficult. The team has struggled, but that's behind them. This game will allow them to regroup and regroove.

Here's what you might want to watch for:
- Psycho Novia and Mary Tyler Roar taking the lion's share of jams for the Dolls. Sparkle Ninja and Roxanne Rolls are very able blockers; if the Dolls are in a fix for defense, watch for the two of them in the blocker pack.
- Big question on Rebel Stella. There are always rumors about this Dolly speedster, but the word is she's been actively working out with the Dolls over the past month or so.
- Keep an eye on Sweet Justice, Sinaminn, and Wonderbroad. They train hard, and they're definitely entering the same regular rotation that Lydia Punch and Candi Pain have seen for years. Bombshell rookies need to watch for these two.
- Atomic jammer winnowing. Sounds like a nasty variant of the wedgie, but here's what I mean. The Atomic Bombshells have got jammer talent bleeding from their ears. Three of this year's rookies - Jocelyn D'Jewels, L'Exi-Cuter, and Mae Gusta all have been putting up some remarkable numbers. JJ's been the Bombshell go-to girl, and L'Exi's deft ability to cut through the pack and take the lead raised some eyebrows at the last bout. If the captains go with a more stable rotation this bout, there might be some big rewards.
- As always, look for Diamond Rough to be taking players on before they crack the pack...but don't overlook rookie teammates Tara Skatesov, Shady O'Dread, and Skullateral Damage. They've been quietly working in the pack on the fundamentals, and this may well be the night that one or two of them really shines.

And then there's the Garda Belt-Rockits game. I believe that this bout might defy conventional wisdom about the March MNRG event. There is a perception that the teams relax a bit as they work out tactics and strategies for the season championship. I don't really see these teams as that patient. Both teams have been working so damn hard to make it this far, and with the core of both teams being All-Stars, I think we've got two matches (in March and in April) that will set a new bar for home-team play here in the Twin Cities. You've followed these teams and know their stories, so let's get to what's to come:

- Question one for the Rockits: can the team stop Suzie Smashbox? #91 for the Garda Belts has been in fine form this year. She plays between one-half and two-thirds of all jams as the point-scorer, and if you cannot stop her, Rockit jammers will have to book it to the front of the pack.
- Question two for the Red Menace: can the Rockits play a team that plays dirty with the rulebook as well? All this season, we've seen the Rockits play an evil form of the sport that is completely within the bounds of the rules. They take advantage of the track-cutting regs, they use the 20-foot rule like a weapon, and they use just enough force to send unobservant players to the penalty box, or at least send them to the back of the pack. But so can the Garda Belts; many of the girls in green have also played against the nation's best and know the tricks.
- To the Garda Belts: what are you going to do about Jawbreaker? JB has gotten past 'great' this year; the platinum blonde is starting to play a strong-arm, focused game that no one else quite has the ability to do. We've seen her block blockers as a jammer, mark a jammer stride for stride while directing her team from the front, and triple-slam when given a power jam opportunity. Girl's got talent. So how do you beat her?
- Another one: The tendency of the Garda Belt defense is to attack the opposing team and let the jammers make their own way. Can the GB defense adapt to regularly shepherding their players through the pack if the traditional ways don't work?
- And finally: in a forty minute bout, a jammer being sent to the box can mean the difference between winning and losing; the eighty seconds or so of jamming unopposed generally means that the team with a jammer still on the track can rack up the points. The Garda Belt jammers have gone to the box thirteen times so far this season; the Rockits have had their jammers caught there precisely once. Can the Garda Belt jammers keep it together?

But these matches...these matches are going to be fun. The year has been building to these two showdowns. Make sure you're there for this preview of the season championship. We'll see you at the Roy.

Writing from the exact Geographic Center of roller derby,
-Garrison Killer

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The Minnesota RollerGirls are excited to be hosting an All-Star boot camp for our neighbor leagues. Please see here for additional information.

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H BOMB is short and sweet. She truly enjoys playing roller derby and is thankful to have found a sport that embraces her quirky, insubordinate, and aggressive nature.

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Season Seven begins with fifteen new faces

At an undisclosed location on Thursday, August 19th, the MNRG welcomed fifteen new players to the ranks of their home teams. Of those fifteen, five came from other leagues (the Mad Rollin' Dolls of Madison, Minneapolis' own North Star Roller Girls, and Angel City in Los Angeles), nine players new to our sport from recruitment, and one from our own team of refs. In addition, we recruited two new referees and a new announcer.

Because of the new season schedule, these fifteen rookies will have much to learn about their respective teams in a very short time. Rookies have not traditionally played for their home team before January, but this year they will play in two months on October 16th. Watch for these players, derby fans.

The Atomic Bombshells welcome to their ranks:
Hurtrude...

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Some words with Ump: the North Central Referee Clinic (August 8th)

“We’re running basically every officiating position out there.” Umpire Strikes Back tells me. Fifteen refs assembled on the Roy Wilkins auditorium floor circle two scrimmaging packs of Minnesota RollerGirl and North Star Roller Girl players. With his dyed yellow hair peeking out from a painstakingly-detailed Death Star derby helmet, Ump looks like any child’s favorite cool uncle. More importantly to us, Umpire Strikes Back (#1138) is the Minnesota RollerGirls head referee. The buck, such that it is, stops with Ump. And he does it with a bit of an infectous grin. He loves this sport.

From behind that grin, you can see a touch of fatigue. It’s Day 2 of the North Central regional clinic on a hot August day, and it’s clear that every ref here - caravaning from every corner of the...

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Referee Clinic

The Minnesota RollerGirls are excited to announce that we have been selected to host the first ever WFTDA North Central Referee Clinic on August 7th and 8th. Officials from around the country will be joining our own referee staff in a two day intensive seminar right here in St. Paul. Lead and attended by top level referees and officials, this clinic will bring everyone together in preparation for the Fall's "Big 5" regional and national tournament season.

WFTDA Referee Training Clinic Registration Site

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MNRG go 2-0 in Philly

The Minnesota RollerGirls returned to competitive play this past weekend at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in Philadelphia, PA. The ECDX has been a major gathering point for sanctioned bouts between leagues of all skill levels over the past few years.

The Extravaganza is a time for old friends and derby wives to reconnect and close a few bars together, but the ECDX’s position in the derby calendar also makes it one of the very last stops before ranking occurs for WFTDA’s Q3 rankings. The 3rd quarter ranking (decided upon by other WFTDA skaters) decides the seeding of leagues for the four regional tournaments, so the outcomes of the ECDX bouts have a great influence on who’s in and who’s out. It’s the last chance for teams to show off before voting, in no small part due due to...

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VIP Sections Now Available

VIP Sections are now available! Are you bringing a large group of people to see the Minnesota RollerGirls? We are offering limited VIP seating at all of our bouts, starting for our October 16th bout! Packages range from $200 to $800. Please visit our online ordering form and reserve your VIP section today!

The Minnesota RollerGirls are also excited to announce new reserved seating for the 2010-2011 season! There will be additional reserved seats available on the main floor and in the balcony. They are $12 in advance/$14 day of bout for the balcony, with the extra main floor seating $13 in advance/$15 day of the bout. For any fans interested in ordering Season Tickets in these area...

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Season 7 begins now!

It's time for the Season Seven news. Let's begin with the retirements. The following players will be stepping back next season (we call it 'going Class C'):

Atomic Bombshells:
- Flora Flipabitch
- Mae Gusta
- Misfit Maiden
- Shady O'Dread

Dagger Dolls:
- Buffy the Vampire Skater
- Miss Fire
- Shiv and Let Die
- Sweet Justice

Garda Belts:
- Little Tornado
- Rolls Wilder

Rockits:
- Dudezilla

Referees:
- Rocky Whorer
- Glam Slam

But we've got a few players who will be rejoining from years past. Soylent Mean returns to her beloved Rockits, while savvy track veteran CleoSPLATra will don the orange and green for the Atomic Bombshells.

But there's more, MNRG fans! We have ...

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The Wheelies

It's Wheelies time! Every year our players, refs, and volunteers travel to an undisclosed location, crack open a PBR (and maybe sneak in a flask or two), and honor the best of our best for two hours of tears, cheers, and fairly awesome dresses. On May 1st we honored the following players:

Fan Awards:
Favorite Jammer - Suzie Smashbox
Favorite Pivot/Blocker - Vuedoo Prodigy
Favorite Rookie - Killaman Jaro
The Lappy - Vuedoo Prodigy

League Awards:
Most Valuable Minnesota RollerGirl - Vuedoo Prodigy
Rookie of the Year - Killaman Jaro
Head Trauma (MNRG founder) Legacy Award - Rumblebee
Most Improved - Cassie Rolle
Hardest Hitter - Vuedoo Prodigy
Speed Demon - L'exi-cuter
Best Attitude - Mitzi Massacre and Citizen Pain (tie)
Purple Heart - B...

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Atomic Bombshells go hot for the championship, 78-58

The Atomic Bombshells defeated the Rockits in a thriller of a game - a Rockitbuster, if you will - on April 3rd at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium. The Bombshells played their strategy to their utmost, summoning every resource they could muster to send their jammer to the front. And though it seemed as if penalties in the pack might end their hopes to hold the Golden Skate high, the Bombshells emerged triumphant.

Harmony Killerbruise took the first lead for the Rockits, but Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap forced her to call the jam by bypassing on the sprint to the back of the pack. L'exi-cuter, recharged from last month's break, found a way around Rockit blocker Scarmen Hellectra up front (who went to the box off an illegal hit), took the lead, and charged ahead for the f...

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Gardas outplay Dolls for 3rd, 74-45

The MNRG Garda Belts took the game to the Dagger Dolls on April 3rd in a third-place bout that was rarely in doubt. The Gardas has long had a strong presence in the pack, but the surprise in this bout was the coming-out party for Cassie Rolle and the resurgence of Angelfire as a jammer after years of injury and rehab. With both sides of the Garda machine going, the women in green took the lead more than 75% of the time. The Dolls had their surges of excellence, but the Gardas took the day.

The Garda Belts stole an early march from the opening whistle. Garda co-captain Suzie Smashbox took the first lead after being denied by Doll blocker Shiver Me Kimbers. She recovered and returned to slash past Kimbers and Buffy the Vampire Skater. Garda blocker Tiki Torture delayed Killamon J...

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Bombs away! (recaplet)

Bombshells take the Title, 78-58

The Atomic Bombshells skated their way to MNRG history on April 3rd, defeating the two-time defending champion Rockits and finishing the home season undefeated. The Bombshells started well, scoring eleven unanswered points in the first four jams. At the halfway mark, the Rockits had at last started to get their line-grinding defense to start sending opponents to the box and getting points on the board, but the Bombshells still outscored them. 19-7 Bombshells with ten to go.

The scoring tide came in for the Rockits the very next jam as Vuedoo Prodigy busted free for the Rockits and scored fourteen points on a power jam (and changing the lead) as Venus Thightrap languished in the box. Harmony Killerbruise, then Scarmen Hellectra followed up for anoth...

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