Minnesota RollerGirls - Flat-track, skater-owned roller derby league in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul

The Dairyland Dolls -- the travel team of Madison's Mad Rollin' Dolls -- have played the Minnesota RollerGirl All-Stars four times over the course of their incorporation. These bouts are tough, and you never come through one without a story to tell. Whether the madness of an outdoor bout in the pouring rain in their early days or some very "naughty" play by the DDs in their first bout at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium (how did that extra piece of derby gear get on the track again?), there's always a story. Saturday was no different.

Four times Minnesota had met Madison, and four times the double Ds have defeated the MNRG. That perfect record came to an end on Saturday as the Dairyland Dolls returned to Minnesota's home turf, the Roy. Following their fourth defeat to the DDs at Eastern Regionals, the MNRG team changed their roster, placing an emphasis on their three most powerful jammers (Jawbreaker, Harmony Killerbruise, and Suzie Smashbox) and creating consistent packs, heavy with players that could skate for a half hour at a time without much of a break. Madison seemed to keep with their strategy of a broad field of very competent blockers, headed by a small group of experienced pivots (Ali Gator, Mauly Tov, and Darling Nikki). Missing from the normal field for Madison was jammer Mouse (missed by many an old MNRG fan), Dutch Oven, and Chop Suzzy.

The game began with neither Suzie for MNRG nor Mack the Knife for the DDs taking the first lead. Mack got stopped short by Jawbreaker in her second passing run, while Suzie was able to sail past Ali Gator and the Madison pack with interference runs by Harmony and Hanna Belle Lector. The double Ds' Jenny Knoxville struggled with taking the next lead while Jawbreaker cooled her heels in the box. Harmony and Misfit for the MNRG both scored takedowns on Jenny, keeping her back and scoreless for that jam.

Dairyland Doll jammer Jewels of Denile took the next lead over Suzie Smashbox, pressing past a persistent Tiki Torture. Jewels pulled out a full grand slam before Suzie returned from the box, and Madison took the lead, 9-8. Suzie took the next four points amidst an avalanche of fouls on both sides. The penalties continued during the next jam, but both jammers climbed through the thinning packs to bring the score to 15-10, MNRG in the lead. Vuedoo Prodigy played her first jam in the bout against Darling Nikki. Nikki could not be stopped; while Vuedoo struggled against Stitch and Dolly Pardon Me's deft blocking, the Madison jammer double-slammed for ten points. Jenny Knoxville built up her team's lead by eight in the next jam, blowing past opposing jammer Harmony and the Minnesota pack twice before finally hitting a wall she could not penetrate.

Minnesota took lead over the next three jams as Vuedoo, Jawbreaker, and Suzie all put up points. Minnesota often builds a wall at the very front of the combined pack, and MNRG was using it to refuse passage for the Madison jammers. The DDs responded by pulling their own defense far behind Minnesota, making it impossible for the MNRG to engage without drawing penalties for twenty-foot engagement (if a blocker engages a jammer when they are well forward of the majority of players, they are 'out of the pack'.) Minnesota began to lose players to this, and Madison's lead grew. With five minutes to go, ">Jawbreaker stepped to the line against Madison's Wildberry Punch. Jawbreaker - who often skates on the very edge of the inside tape - veered too far and got called on track-cutting. Punch leapt to the opportunity and scored ten points on the power jam while Back Doris and Dolly Pardon Me denied Minnesota the opportunity to build their wall. Minnesota inched their way back as regulation expired to a score of 47-33. However, since Mack the Knife and Suzie Smashbox had both gone to the box as jammers in the final jam, we needed a proper end to the half. To the line went Darling Nikki and Jawbreaker. Both players were clearly having problems with making it through the pack. Darling Nikki eventually beat the Minnesota defense and took the lead whilst Jawbreaker illegally goosed a Madison blocker with her knee right in front of the ref. The crowd reacted in horror as their hometown girl went to the box and Darling Nikki accumulated a full dozen points on the power jam. At the end of the half, Madison suddenly had a commanding lead, 59-33.

Madison and Minnesota re-emerged from the depths of the Roy Wilkins Auditorium following halftime. Mack the Knife took the first lead jam of the half and pinched two points from the home team. Knoxville jammed next for Madison, but MNRG pivot Harmony Killerbruise broke her stride, giving MNRG jammer Jawbreaker a chance to grab a quick two before calling off the jam. Jewels of Denile responded with a very quick lead jam - speeding past back blocker Honeydew Felon and the Minnesota front three before Suzie Smashbox could begin her scoring pass. Jawbreaker returned to the jammer line and capitalized on a power jam off of Mack the Knife to take four before going to the box herself... just as Mack returned. Minnesota kept the Knife from scoring, and the point differential had been widened slightly since the half. Seven minutes had passed, and Minnesota was still more than twenty-five points behind, 65-38.

Two jams later, Suzie Smashbox nailed the Madison pack for a triple slam as Madison jammer Jewels of Denile, as well as Back Doris and pivot Mauly Tov, all got sent to the box on penalties. Mauly Tov would visit or stay in the penalty box for the next four jams. Meanwhile, a timeout was called and both teams put together new plans. With Jewels still in the box, Jawbreaker broke the pack for the lead and another five points the following jam. Another timeout was called by Madison, and their planning clearly put them back in the driver's seat. Over the next three jams, the Dairyland Dolls put nine unanswered points on the board as Jewels and Jenny returned to form. Madison started holding the pack back and Minnesota began getting swatted again by the refs for skating too far ahead, resulting in calls of '20 Feet!' every other pass. Suzie then sped through to take six when Mack the Knife lost her lead to a forced track-cutting on the inside, though Mack did take four
points on that jam. The very next jam, the tension that had been slowly building in the Roy spilled over as Jawbreaker was sent out by a Madison ref on a call that the crowd clearly did not like. As Mack the Knife - returning from the box herself - took the lead and five points off of the power jam opportunity, the 3000-some Minnesota faithful got a little ugly as they booed the ref with a single voice. But with only eight minutes to go and twenty-one points to make up (85-64), it looked more and more like Madison was going to five-peat.

The MNRG had other plans.

Suzie Smashbox took the next two leads very, very quickly and called off the jams immediately =96 the second of those jams lasting less than thirty seconds. In each case, the opposing jammer (Jewels and Darling Nikki) was right on her tail, and Suzie was clearly looking for an opportunity to score big.

Wildberry Punch - who could do no wrong against Minnesota at Eastern Regionals - next stepped to the line against Minnesota's Jawbreaker, hoping to put an end to this bout. Though JB struggled against a Madison pack headed by Darling Nikki, she took the lead and four points. Punch could not break the pack before the MNRG jammer called the jam. 85-68. Suzie Smashbox then jammed against Mack the Knife and got her second double-digit jam in the half off of a power jam as Mack went to the box. Cutting through massive interference on the part of Madison (which sent four Madison players to the penalty box in two minutes), Suzie scored ten points to Madison's two. 87-78.

In the final jam, MNRG's Jawbreaker took on the DD's Jenny Knoxville. JB took the lead as she hit Mach Two with her hair on fire. Fifteen
seconds later, Jenny went to the box and Minnesota's biggest power jam in its history began as the MNRG fans roared "FASTER, FASTER, KILL, KILL, KILL!" at Jawbreaker until the air shook. In the first scoring pass, the MNRG defense took a page from the Madison playbook and dropped a knee, almost completely killing their momentum. They pulled off a 20-foot trap on the MRD defenders that would have made a soccer fan proud, and JB scored a full five points. Second pass, Jawbreaker beat two, almost blew it against Madison's Stitch, but recovered and beat the pack again. Jenny re-entered the track. Jawbreaker began her third pass just as Jenny was about to start her first scoring run when time expired on the big clock, and the whistle blew. As Minnesota's final jam's results were displayed by the refs (eleven unanswered points), the audience exploded and the Minnesota RollerGirls took a well-earned victory lap. Final score 89-87.

Although Jawbreaker's final jam won the game for Minnesota, it was Suzie Smashbox's forty-eight points - most of which were during power jams - that kept the MNRG in the game. Madison dominated the track for most of the game with smart pack management and some amazing jams in the first half, but could not find ways to keep back Minnesota when they were down a blocker. With only five matches under their belt, this rivalry has just begun. North Central regionals are only ten months away.

Reporting from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,
-Garrison Killer, MNRG sidelines reporter